Trust is Non-Negotiable. Its There or its Not

I would like to use Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs to assist me to set the background.

After the basic physiological needs (breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis, excretion) the next most important human need is the sense of being safe. Humans derive the sense of safety from guarding their body, job, resources, morality, family, health and property. Then comes the role of being loved : my family, friends, and ofcourse sexual intimacy with the mate. The next most important role of “being”, is directly propotional to the the physiological, safety, and love/belonging needs. Esteem is very important to be successful in every phase of life let it be personal or professional. Esteem factor includes self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of others, and respect for others. Any disrupency in Physiological, safety or love/belonging need disrupts the Esteem factor This finally boils up to the Self-actualization stage, which includes morality, cretivity, spontaneity, problem solving, lack of prejudice, and acceptance of fact.

So you can see that everything is interlinked and the cause of something wrong happening in an issue such as “respect for others” has deep roots going to other factors which is influencing consiously or subconsiously the attitude of showing respect.

Now that we understand the importance of security, we can get into a whole new chapter of Trust. Trust is the subset of Security. Lets start with an analogy. The comfort and safety blanket is thrown off from a new-born baby upon her birth. The only connection/relation she recognizes from the womb is her mother’s warmth. This is the reason a baby gets pacified in her mother’s arms. Here, warmth is associated with familiarity, trust, comfort, and nourishment. The child does not love her mom when she is born. She sticks on to her mother’s arm because she associates her mother with security. Love is what the child learns to do over the period of time.

This can be applied in any other situation. When we apply to a school in a different country, we don’t love that country or school. We trust the country and the school to provide us with the resources required to meet a common goal. We grow to love the school and the new country and its environment over the time.

Like someone said, “Trust enables you to put your deepest feelings and fears in the palm of your partner’s hand, knowing they will be handled with care”. Trust is not something you can take a chance of. It is the foundation of any relationship.

The true essence of trust is not in its bind, but is in its bond. So hold the hand of the person who “trusts you”, and let your hand be held only by someone “you trust”.